A few days ago, I happened to discuss the film Little Women in a chat with a friend. We chatted about how the film compares to the original book and why Jo and Laurie didn't end up together. Since in this film, Saoirse Ronan plays Jo and Timothée Chalamet plays Laurie, my friend recommended me another film to watch, in which both actors also play the lead roles while the story is also like a modern version of Little Women. Therefore, this weekend, I saw the film –– Lady Bird.
Unlike the films that I’ve seen in the past few weeks, Lady Bird tells a story that's relatively lighthearted and closer to people's everyday lives. Watching such a “coming of age” film gave me the feeling of seeing a bird fly by the window, there is tension but more relief.
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What resonated with me the most was the strained relationship between Lady Bird and her mother. It was interesting to notice that the way they communicate with each other was kind of sarcastic or “passive-aggressive” –– according to Lady Bird’s own words. After hearing Lady Bird express her desire to go to college out of state, Lady Bird's mother, Marion, did not ask why, but excitedly dismissed her daughter in a sarcastic way that denied Lady Bird's abilities. “You should just go to city college and then to jail and then back to city college, and then maybe you’d learn to pull yourself up,” Marion said. Does she really not trust her daughter? Or does she not love Lady Bird? No, I think she actually loves Lady Bird more than anyone else, but she is just too afraid that Lady Bird would leave home and be far away from her.
(Lady Bird and her mom, Marion picking a dress for prom, https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/12/a-memorable-mother-daughter-talk-in-lady-bird/549188/)
Watching Lady Bird being told that she might encounter people holding knives at an out-of-state college made me recall my parents not wanting me to study abroad in the first place, as they thought my personality might lead me to be bullied in a foreign country by myself. Also, seeing Marion ask Lady Bird not to drag her feet when she walks also reminds me of my mother doing the same thing when I was a kid as she would also say "if you can't walk well, don't walk.” The conversations between Marion and Lady Bird kept me wondering what on earth should be a proper way of communication between parents and children. How can being hard on children not conflict with loving them？ When I was growing up, I also tried hard to seek the full support of my parents like Lady Bird does, hoping that they would trust me and respect all my decisions just like some of the parents in harmonious family TV series. However, thinking about the fact that individual is different, parents are always different, and TV series is even more incomparable with reality. On the other hand, as Lady Bird realized in the film, no matter what parents express, the core message is always their love and concern for us. No one is perfect, and neither are parents, I guess.
(Lady Bird trying to steal a beauty magazine in the grocery store, https://nofilmschool.com/unofficial-reading-list-lady-bird)
In addition to the tension in her family, I also admire her ability to clearly know what she wants. The simplest instance would be her name –– Lady Bird. She gave herself the name and insisted on having people around her call her “Lady Bird” instead of “Christine.” Like many girls, she also longs for love, hopes to have cool friends, and dreams of living in a beautiful big house one day, but at the same time, she is also willing to make attempts to strive for what she wants.
I personally really like the idea mentioned in the film: success does not mean happiness. Many people are eager for money and success while others only wish to be happy. In today's society, it may be true that many of us are sacrificing happiness in order to live. Even if we are not built happy, I still do believe that it is happiness that motivates us to live and find our place in society. So, in a simple sentence to conclude:
Be real, accept who you are, and fly fearlessly like a bird.
(Lady Bird and Danny, her first love, celebrating Thanksgiving at Danny’s grandmother’s house, https://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/greta-gerwigs-exquisite-flawed-lady-bird)